There's a lot of things I wanted to say.. just couldn't find a suitable person, or maybe I shall choose to talk to a wall or talk to the tree? writing in my blog is too open to the public however, I wouldn't know whose my reader is.

Argh, pathetic. I always want an everlasting first love till I get married with the same person. Why? why this happen to me? please don't misunderstand, I am not that play girl kind of that would change partner when they are bored. I believe in power of love, not like certain people who don't believe it. my dream is destroyed just like that.

I don't want to end it just like this, I definitely don't want to let this end. I can't help to let it end, can you bare to let your partner having a relationship with a girl at outside because he or she is lonely? asking me to separate for awhile because he started a relationship with another girl?! O.o Or maybe this is fake story just to let me give up on him. I don't wanna know more. what if it is true? and what if it is fake? I told myself not to give second chance to the guy who disloyal to me. I really couldn't accept him back if it's true.

I admit, I am selfish I don't like to share a guy with others(no girls like it). I guess I just lost to a girl. A girl, who is a biatch, or maybe he is the one who is itchy and unfaithful. Why everyone thought that go to a big city means u are a grown up and sex is needed? Why can't we hold the principle to have sex only after marriage? No sex no life? FU! you can control your lust ok! those who can't control their lust are just like animal which has no brain like human. So you wanna be human or animal? or maybe you are not religious enough. You are really a good guy, really. whoever who got you must be really lucky, but it's just this stupid attitude cannot be changed!

I am a LOSER. I just lost in a battle of love. I am not good enough. or maybe I lost trust in you. I always trust you. Even when you lied, I do believe in you. So how can I understand you if you lied to me?
 I always take things seriously as you said(which you dislike), please don't tell me you didn't take our relationship seriously all these while? So you wanna be serious or you want to play? I've been trying to save our relationship for so many times, I tried my best to talk to you again even when I was angry(which I don't do most of the time). I always take the first move to solve our problems and this time.. I guess nobody will take the first move anymore. I don't know how long I would be sobbing because of this. It's THE END =(